Perspectives

Sometimes I can't tell if God is protecting me from something, 

or if I'm protecting myself from God. 

Don't You See?

Don't you see? 

Your breath is enough to give my wings flight. 

Your song gives my tired heart the rhythm it needed to awaken. 

Your courage stokes this fire that has been kindling in my belly. 

Your smile warms my bones like a summer day. 

Your release of what does not serve you allows my exhale to surrender. 

Your trust ignites the stars above so I can have evidence enough of my magic. 

Your song lifts me forward in grace. 

Your creation reminds me of the boundless possibilities I can manifest. 

This is our exchange. Our inhales and exhales take turns on this mysterious and wondrous journey.  

And so we remind one another of what it is to truly live. Your love brings color to the dreams I want to unleash. 

I am the ocean and you the sky. 

The infinite horizon between us blurs. 

Most humans can't distinguish where we separate. 

We don't darling. 

We are one in the same. 

An interdependent being of experiences, inspirations and lessons. 

You see it now? 

I knew you would. 

I Am

I breathe deeply. Inhaling and exhaling, breathing life into the depths of me because I have had the wind knocked out of me. I lived once with shallow breaths until I knew enough how deeply I truly wanted to breathe. So I do. And so I am. 

I sing because it feels as though I could fly; away from the cage in which I sometimes paint myself. Song is freedom and connection to the truest and oldest part of my soul. It is how I come alive. I sing. I am. 

I run because I was told to stand still and walk in straight lines for the majority of my life. I continued out of not knowing there was another way; until I figured it out when it became uncomfortable enough. So I run to remind myself I can pave my own way; that I'm not tied to anything, anyone or to myself. I run even when I don't know where I'm going. I run. I am. 

I stare at the sky in awe. Day or night. I stare. I stretch out my arms and feel how boundless I am. I stare in gratitude for the world around me and the gift it is to be alive. I stare because It is a reminder of how small I sometimes shrink into made up stories. I stretch and stare at the infinite horizons and skies to show that there really are no limits. I am. 

I write words because it is the spine of who I am. Writing is a manifestation of my dialogue with this universe. It is how I feel through my humanness and how I listen to the Divine. Words come through me and reveal my soul's whispers and screams. Words breathe life into my observations. It is how I breathe, smile, cry, study, connect and feel life. They are my reminder, my humility, my possibility, my empowerment, relief and hope. Words are my mirror; my greatest teacher. I write. I am. 

I practice yoga. It is my sanctuary. Yoga is how I use my body to explore within. It is my practice for evolution, love, forgiveness, gratitude, acceptance, surrender, and to break through barriers. I practice yoga to connect with my spirit, with others, with this body on this ground and to the God of my own unique understanding. It is how I observe my thoughts. How my body listens to my head. And how my head bows to my heart. Yoga is strengthening the foundation in preparation for flight. Root to rise. I practice. I am. 

I meditate to listen. To return. To begin again and again. To allow my spirit the breathing room it deserves. I meditate to be. To open myself to a connection grander than myself. I meditate to allow myself the space and silence to be. Without judgement or thought. In silence, I am. 

I am. 

A Mother's Love

I hope he lives without mental barriers. 

I wish him to know only the joy in him saying 'yes!'  

I do everything I can to instill and encourage a free heart and uninhibited spirit. 

That his happiness has no limits and his love, no walls. 

I hope he trusts that life is as open and available to him as he is to it. 

I hope he feels the magic he exudes is reflected back to him. 

There is no distinction between us

We have taken many trips together around the sun, you and I. 

The moon has blanketed our dreams with its stars, as we surrender into blissful sleep every night. 

The fire of the day has kindled our possibilities until they implode and the Universe inside of us is unleashed. 

Infinite stars line our belly. 

The moon in our throats and the sun between our eyes. 

We are one. 

There is no distinction between us. 

The Body Remembers

I need someone who knows how to love me. I've been beaten up. I've healed. The body also remembers. I have a tough exterior. Muscle enough to protect me. A sharp mind and an open intuition. A healthy heart that has found joy in living alone. It also sings at night with an ache to be nestled in safe keeping.

The body remembers.

 I need someone that knows how to love me. Reassurance that silence isn't abandonment. Trust that feelings will stay. Tenderness that listening is truly caring and a pleasant surprise in your persistent curiosity for my insides. Remind me that a look can gaze down into the depths of me. Show me that you can smell me from a mile away.  Shock me with your gentleness. Don't run; no matter how annoying or hard it gets - show me it's a pleasure still. Give Affection. Hold me. Kiss me. Show me. See me. Understand me even when you don't fully.

The body remembers. It remembers newlywed silent distance and an untouched pregnant belly and finally, disinterest. It remembers knife-sharp lonely silence. The body remembers the void, defined as abandonment and a lesson not yet learned, that abandonment is another's inability to love as you need. The body remembers a stagnant heart, starved so much it bled looking for another life source to sustain it. It remembers not knowing how to find it within; or that it could. It remembers suddenly and slowly being left and having to declare that truth in order to stop hemorrhaging. Those scars don't fade easily. The wound eventually healed and the heart is thriving. The memories come back sometimes.

 I haven't ridden my bike since.

Teach me to trust I can. Show me. Please extend your heart because I'm doing my best. Show me. Ask me. Step out on a limb and reach for me. I'm putting myself out there more than you might think. My frightened heart is willing. Please meet me halfway and take my hand. Thank me for trying. Thank me for asking. For seeing something in you and taking a step. You may not realize this is the biggest, bravest and boldest step I have ever taken since I died and came alive again.

Help me to claim trust in this new life. It's my first time at love with this wise, fresh, open heart. Be gentle. Skip the appearances and games. I want to be amongst real love; at least the exploration of it. To show it and to receive it. Meet me halfway. I'm terrified. We all are.
I will hold your heart. Please hold mine.

The body remembers.

I want new memories. With you.

Be Loved

Oh my darling, live life as only you can. Dive in and reach into your chest for that bright and beautiful heart of yours. Let it be your guide, your muse, your music; setting the rhythm for each sacred and perfectly placed step you take. As you dance in this curious space outside of you, smile in all of your glory knowing that the neurosis and wisdom come from the same place.

Fear is magnified in its knowing you will soon override it's existence with a wondrous 'yes'. So go on, my darling. Live as only you can. There are no molds or boundaries. You are far too vast of a light to be constricted by such mirages.  Freedom is inside you, roaming through your veins as the infinite figure circulates your desires; energizing you towards the unexplored.

Love will sustain you, guide you and lift you, to evolve into remembrance of the soul that carries you.

So no holding back. Go make those 'mistakes', if that's what holds you back. Make them loud and clear until they begin to blend with your magic. Make every step with intention. Say it loudly and purposefully. We need to hear you.  We need all of you. It is why you are here. To be loved.

 Every bit of you. We need to love you.

So you see, my darling. Live life as only you can. It is how we are all fed and loved; by your true essence. It is the reason why you are here. Let us love you.