November 3, 2013

Make it yours

I get it. 

That desperation to cling onto something that looks like love and a life you envision. Even though you know deep down it's not exactly what your heart wants. You convince yourself that it is close enough and in front of you so you best take it. 

I get it. I've been there. 

It's more soothing than forging through deep dark rough waters of loneliness all with the hope of finding it for yourself. Navigating through the journey isn't for the faint of heart. And on really rough days, you wonder if you'd rather be found and saved, taken to land prematurely- before you find the shore on your own. The frustration of knowing that wouldn't be good enough. That you need to be the one to run into and find the shore on your own. You don't want to be saved. You want to be seen. You want to see it for yourself and know you're the one that intentionally navigated your way through. 

Oh, the immense wish to settle. To just not have to go through it alone. To be saved now versus the unknown of when you will find and be found. See the light in someone and allow your own light to be seen. Of accepting a life that's created for you in a template instead of creating your own way. 

Forge on. This firefly in my gut will guide the way. She always has. She's always been right. 

Forge on. 

The seas are vast. I know. I also know there is land that makes up this world. Trust that as vast and lonesome as the ocean may be, you do not live in a vacuum of ocean. There is land to be reached. Your feet will be planted firmly on soil again. What's the use of a journey; of an adventure without a destination to attain? You can't have one without the other.

I think we just take turns between being home and trying to find it. 

Rember that when you're about to give up. When you're about to settle into a land that's closer and not truly the land you dreamt of. 

 It's waiting for you to see it. To find it and be ready enough to go to it.
To be ready enough for you to be found. To be seen. 

Forge on. 

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