December 11, 2011


Today, I feel at peace with myself. 
Theres no torment. Ive done all I can ad more. I breathe in and out without grasping for air. 

Whatever happens tomorrow is for tomorrow. Maybe that's what dad was trying to say about the planning. When you plan, your mind is somewhere other than in the present. It is controlling and wishing for something that may not really be in store and you end up not trusting the present because you're shooting for something. To give another or the universe for that matter, room to be, you relinquish your pushing of what you want that picture to look like and you simply let the artist give you his art. 

In terms of music, I almost feel that as letting jazz be jazz (the unexpected notes you can't predict). You enjoy the beauty it is for what it is. 

And you give yourself permission to change your mind, to think of an experience differently and to see the experience for what it is; instead of feeling disappointed because it didn't happen as you planned. It rarely does and then you just set yourself up for sadness...instead, live for today and enjoy the fireworks as they happen. Enjoy your freedom in movement, moment to moment and allow others their own freedom to be. They can't affect you; only your thoughts and attachment affects you. 

Wow. So not scary. So different. So loving to you and the world. So much more vast in possibility. 

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