Ask

Sunflowers

My declared flower

Easy to like

Without asking

Without demanding too much

Without needing enough

All this time

When I am a surprise delivery, two dozen roses, with a heart-stopping, knock-me-on-my-knees note, heart erupting wanting of a woman.

Wildflower?

Shower me with a goddamn garden.

Mirrors

I want to travel to the farthest corners of the untouched Earth, so that one day, I may meet the Universe herself; face to face.

Refugee

I am a refugee. I come from a place where I am no longer. I have traveled for far too long and thousands of miles from where I began. I have been pushed by an outside world to move my roots. To sever my lineage in order to survive. 

I have been told that I am not enough to be the keeper of this skin. I must find a home elsewhere from the spirit the ancestors brought me in. Discomfort with the unknown, I tell them. This is why you fear. I am pushed out all the same. My voice is muffled by my tolerance for adapting.  I leave my heritage to find another. To silence their tantrums. To silence my voice so I may save my body. 

I am a refugee. Looking for a home. Adopted everywhere I go, and knowing I am the only home I will ever need. It is my choice. Mine has been forgotten long ago. I am a refugee. I carry my home. And try to see Home everywhere I go. 

Loud noises disguised as power, push us out. They are much too weak to sit with their own disdain. They dress us in their disdain's costume and then act horrified at the sight. Lashing out and pulling history's roots. 

They don't know our blood is in the soil. 

They don't know we are the nucleus of this breathing organism. 

We are refugees on the surface. 

We are the source of all in the underbelly of this life. 

I am a refugee. Mother Earth moves me. She is asking us to wake man up. To heal her for our own good. She cannot nourish our bodies and souls while we abuse her. Don't they see that pushing source leaves darkness in their wake? What is left when Earth herself becomes a refugee from the land you steal?

I am a refugee. My soul freed itself from your economic enslavement.  Seeing beyond your nose is the most assured way for flourishing. We are not here for you. We are here for each other. Global citizens. We will devour your boundaries with the love we have for each other. We will rise up and settle into lands wherein our souls answer to song. Our roots run deeper than your greed. We are forever connected and solidified in integrity. You cannot destroy us. We will rise taller. Louder. United. The only suppressed voice will be that of darkness. 

Yes, we are refugees. Not victims, but refugees of your broken systems and greedy policies. We are refugees of hatred and short sightedness. We are refugees of small hands that will not extend to lift my brothers and sisters up. We are refugees of all inhuman acts. We are refugees, kept from our home and from each other long enough. We have had enough. This is our planet. These are our sacred lands. Our sacred waters. Our divine ecosystems and animals. Our sacred relationships with one another. Our HOME.  

Aging

This tenderness of aging. 

A communion of surrendering into self. 

Walk Through

The time has come, darling

Your restless desire has grown too vivid to pretend those patterned ways are necessary 

The call is clear

And this time; This time, you shall cross

You will leave the staleness of your imposter behind and finally answer the beaconing heart

Expand those lungs to quell anxieties of constriction 

They will life and float your rooted feet

Dare to open that heart beyond the borders you have drawn

It is time to honor it

The heart is designed to hold so much more you have ever entrusted it to hold 

Only then will you trust the vastness of another heart; to finally melt and be held. 

Give in to the clear longing for love that consumes

It is the only love worth fully surrendering to 

Offer your soul as the artist it has been begging you to be 

Life awakens with your devotion 

It brings offerings in recognition of the undercurrent of your veins 

Towards a life you have tasted in your secret desire 

A life you have always wanted as yours

Finally declaring the mystery and the always-known, in time to greet you

As yours and yours alone 

The tender meeting of yourself 

Walk through, my sweet

Walk through 

Yes

We are more afraid of feeling fear than navigating the heights themselves. We hesitate to allow mysteries of new sensations. Not because it is difficult or loaded with strife. Not because it is a painful threshold to cross. Not even because we have no guarantee of our hopeful result. 

No. 

We pause and stare at the unfolding ahead because we know it is an effortless surrender; and in an instant, the familiar would forever change with our whispered, and oh so excitedly declared, 'yes'. 

I keep coming back to this: 

What is there to fear when we are so deeply rooted to this Earth? The highest of heights will be our new shelter. The ground will rise up to meet our feet. It is nothing new. Simply that time time, this season, it is. 

Our spirit has always held us at our landing and it will never stop encouraging us to fly. 

Again

You'd do it again
You'd try again
Even though you lost the idea of what you had
Even though you landed on a different planet
You'd try again
Kicking and screaming, you would
This time
This time you would lean back
You recognize that there are no reigns to hold
No powering through
Show up softly and clearly
Be present when life steps forward
It will

It does every time
Show up with knees knocking and heart pounding
Show up with spirit yearning and eyes thirsting
It won't be what you think
It will always be better and smarter
It will be exactly what you need
and nothing like what you would have done for yourself

Do it again
Living, really living, demands it

It will feel like madness
Footprints you have never left before
Unexplored lands
Under the new sensation; it's still you. It will always be you.
You will never be lost enough to lose the traces on your hands or the map in your eyes

Open again
Try again
Be Loved
Again